Saturday, January 19, 2008

War.... War never changes

That line in the title is the opening dialog of one of the greatest games I've ever played, Fallout(and its sequel Fallout 2). I played that game in my old pc, a Pentium 133MHz CPU with about 16 megabytes of main memory. So i need not elaborate about the graphical quality of the game as compared to current standards. But the game was simply an overwhelming experience. It was based on a post-apocalyptic world after a nuclear war had seemingly destroyed everything.I used to be the kind of person who believed in the early to bed principle while i was at school. And the first time i broke the 10'o clock barrier willingly was for this game. That wasnt the only new thing that game held for me. It made me fall in love with this incredible genre of post-apocalyptic fiction.
Ever since the eerie experience that Fallout was, I've loved every piece of post-apo fiction ive come across. There are 2 things that attract me to the concept of an apocalypse. First and foremost its awesome. In the sense its like someone hit a reset button on the entire 'system'. Everything you know about takes a whole different course of existence. Second its the idea of being on your own, no one to dictate you, no one to give advices,.. NO ONE.
The line in the title is very relevant to our present lives. It has come to some never ending relentless war. A never ending war against evaluation systems designed to test how good you are compared to your peers. Be it exams, jobs, training etc etc. This is why i crave for an apocalypse. Because then you are left with just one goal....to survive. Thats why I've pondered on the idea of a personal apocalypse. An apocalypse for the personality that is YOU or ME. An self triggered event which involves re-evaluating everything you have or you thought you had. If this post sounds nihilistic to you, I don't care :)

Saturday, January 05, 2008

The obsession

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Is something that resembles the human consciousness in a very superficial and maybe primitive way, worth dedicating a lifetime? When i keep hitting the F5 button 10 times within 20 mins on one single page, is it plain addiction or is it the dire desperation to just listen to what someone has to say one some topic under the sun? The malayalam phrase "akkare pacha" has a whole new meaning to me. When I'm talking to someone, i just wanna storm out and be alone. When I'm alone its back to the key F5. To quote Mr. Bing "One of life's greeeaat unanswerable questions!!"

Friday, January 04, 2008

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Day 7671


My name is Rajiv Nair. I'm a survivor living in what was once called 'God's own country'. I'm broadcasting on all blogger frequencies. Everyday I'll be at my keyboard thinking about typing out stuff like this. I can provide you with my twisted insights on everythings thats going around me. If there's anybody out there..............anybody......... please. You are not alone.